- ♪ HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF, NO ONE SHOULD ♪
♪ TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
♪ BUT HEATHCLIFF JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
♪ PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE ♪
♪ THERE'S A RACE TO BE ON TOP ♪
♪ THE COMPETITION DOESN'T STOP ♪
♪ HE'S MIXING WITH THE LADIES FAIR ♪
♪ BEING CHARMING, DEBONAIR ♪
♪ THE GAME WILL REIGN SUPREME ♪
♪ AND NO ONE CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y ♪
♪ THEY'LL MAKE SOME HISTORY
♪ AND ALWAYS HAVE AN ALIBI-I-I ♪
♪ SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
♪ THE CATS ARE GREAT, THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
♪ FIND IN EACH CALAMITY
♪ THE CAT'S SUPERIORITY
♪ OH O-OH O-O-OH O-OH
♪ O-O-OH OH, OH-OH O-O-OH O-OH ♪
♪ HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF, NO ONE SHOULD ♪
♪ TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
♪ BUT HEATHCLIFF JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
♪ YOU SHOULD REALIZE
♪ HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
- THIS BOOK HAS A LOT OF NEAT STUFF IN IT.
- WHAT'S IT CALLED?
- "EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT PETS
BUT FORGOT TO ASK."
- ASK ME. I'M AN EXPERT ON PETS.
HEE HEE HEE!
- LISTEN TO THIS.
IT SAYS HERE THAT A WELL-TRAINED PET
IS NOT ONLY RESPECTFUL AND KIND TO PEOPLE,
BUT TO OTHER ANIMALS AS WELL.
- OH, TRUE. TRUE.
REEEOWWRR!
- [SCREECHING]
- REEEEOWWRRR! - [SCREECHING]
[AWK AWK!]
- WHAT ELSE DOES IT SAY?
- WELL, LET ME SEE. IN THE NEXT CHAPTER,
IT TALKS ABOUT HOW A WELL-TRAINED PET
IS ALSO RESPECTFUL OF PROPERTY.
- I COULDN'T AGREE MORE.
- OH, NO!
- YOU REALLY SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL.
- BUT--BUT--
- BOY, WHAT A MESS!
- [SOBBING]
- THE LAST THING IT SAYS HERE
IS THAT EVERYBODY SHOULD HAVE A PET,
AND THAT A PET SHOULD BE
LOYAL, LOVING, AND OBEDIENT.
- WELL, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HEATHCLIFF IS.
- THE GIRL'S GOT GREAT TASTE.
- I DON'T THINK GRANDPA WOULD AGREE WITH YOU.
- WELL, I THINK YOU'RE THE MOST LOYAL, LOVABLE,
AND OBEDIENT PET THERE IS.
- MEEOWRR!
- HEATHCLIFF, MARCY, AND ME
ARE GONNA GO IN THE HOUSE AND READ THE PET BOOK.
- SO WE CAN FIND OUT HOW TO TAKE BETTER CARE
OF OUR LITTLE DARLING.
- THAT'S EASY--
JUST GIVE ME BETTER FOOD AND MORE OF IT.
ACCORDING TO THAT BOOK,
EVERYBODY IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE A PET
WHO'S LOYAL, LOVING, AND OBEDIENT.
IF THAT'S TRUE,
THEN I NEED A PET WHO'S JUST LIKE ME.
I SURE DON'T WANT A DOG AS A PET.
HEY, SPIKE, WHO'S YOUR BEST FRIEND?
- YEEEOWWW!
- DOGS CERTAINLY AREN'T LOYAL.
[SPIKE WHIMPERING]
- WHAT'S THE MATTER, SPIKE, DON'T YOU LIKE ME?
- YIPE! YIPE! YIPE!
- AND THEY DEFINITELY AIN'T LOVABLE.
HEY, SPIKE...ROLL OVER.
- WHOAAA!
[CRASH]
OOH! UHH! OW! OHH!
[CRASH]
- WELL, AT LEAST DOGS ARE OBEDIENT...
AND ONE OUT OF 3 AIN'T BAD.
BUT IT'S STILL NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
UH, LET'S SEE... LOYAL, LOVING...
- HE-HE-HEATHCLIFF!
COME BACK WITH THAT FISH!
- LOYAL, LOVING, AND OBEDIENT.
WHERE CAN I FIND A PET
THAT'S LOYAL, LOVING, AND--
NAH. CATS MAKE CRUMMY PETS--
UH, WITH ONE EXCEPTION.
FIRST OF ALL, THEY'RE NOT LOYAL.
YOU'RE IN MY GARBAGE CAN, BOYS.
- FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE.
- THEN IT'S MY...SERVE!
- AAH! - AAH! - AAH!
- REEOWWRRR! - ROWWRR!
- HEY, WATCH IT!
- OUT OF MY WAY!
- YOU'RE STEPPING ON MY TAIL! GO FASTER!
- YOO-HOO!
- AAH! - AAH! - AAH!
- OHH! - OWW!
- OK, GUYS, LET'S SEE IF YOU'RE OBEDIENT.
GO FETCH.
WHEEE!
- OHH! - UHH!
- FOLLOW ME!
- DO I HAVE A CHOICE?
- LOOK WHERE YOU'RE GOING!
- NAH. CATS ARE NEVER OBEDIENT.
THEY'RE ALWAYS GOING THEIR OWN WAY.
HEE HEE HEE!
I DON'T KNOW WHY I DIDN'T THINK OF THIS BEFORE.
YOU WANT A PET, GO TO A PET STORE.
- BAWK!
BAWK! BAWK! WHADDAYA WANT?
- I'M LOOKING FOR A PET.
- LOOK IN THE MIRROR! BAWK! LOOK IN THE MIRROR!
- LISTEN, WISE GUY, I NEED A PET
THAT'S LOYAL, LOVING, AND OBEDIENT.
- BAWK. WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, A BEAGLE?
BAWK! A BEAGLE?!
- LISTEN, BIRDBRAIN--
- YOU GOT THAT RIGHT! BAWK! YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!
- HUH? UH-OH.
VERY FUNNY, BIRD.
NOW LET ME DOWN.
- LET YOU DOWN?
BAWK! WE'RE GOING TO AUSTRALIA!
BAWK! AUSTRALIA!
- WHY, YOU DUMB OVERGROWN PIGEON!
I MAY BE GREAT, BUT I'M NOT PERFECT.
WHEW.
ANOTHER FEW INCHES
AND I WOULD'VE BEEN KETCHUP.
HMM.
OH, WHAT AN IDEA! A PET COW.
MY VERY OWN LOYAL, LOVING, AND OBEDIENT MILK FACTORY.
- MOOOOOOVE OVER.
- HEY, COW, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
- YOU'RE A MOOO-ORON.
- THIS IS UDDERLY UNBELIEVABLE.
OK, COW, I'M TAKING YOU HOME.
GIDDYAP!
- BULL.
- WHAT'D YOU SAY?
- MMM...YUM....
- NOW LISTEN TO ME, YOU 4-LEGGED MILK BOTTLE...
[RUMBLING]
HUH? WHOOPS!
- BULL'S-EYE.
- THE IDEA OF HAVING A PET MILK FACTORY
SEEMS TO HAVE GONE A LITTLE SOUR!
OOF!
LOYAL, LOVING, AND OBEDIENT...
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]
TRYING TO FIND THE RIGHT PET IS HUNGRY WORK.
- [SLURP SLURP] HUH?!
[HEATHCLIFF BURPS]
[BRITISH ACCENT] OH, WAITER!
- [BRRAAAP]
- YOU STOLE MY FISH! HE STOLE MY FISH!
DON'T JUST STAND THERE. GET HIM!
- OOH! - AH! - UHH!
- I GOT HIM! I GOT HIM!
THERE HE IS!
GET HIM!
- PSST! HEY, CAT...
I'LL GET YOU OUT OF HERE IF YOU TAKE ME WITH YOU.
- DEAL.
- GRR!
OOP!
[CRUNCH]
- GET HIM OFF ME!
OH! GET HIM OFF!
- HUH?
- AAH! EEE! OOH! AAH!
OHH! AAH!
OOH! AH! OOH! AH AH!
- HEH HEH HEH!
- AH! OOH! AH!
- UHH!
- A DEAL'S A DEAL.
- OW! OOH!
- HEY, LISTEN, UH, HOW'D YOU LIKE TO BE MY PET?
- WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, A BEAGLE?
BESIDES, THIS DRY LAND BIT'S NOT FOR ME.
I GOT TO GET BACK TO THE OCEAN.
- I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU DON'T EXACTLY HAVE
THE QUALITIES I'M LOOKING FOR, ANYWAY.
- HEY, I KNOW A LOT OF LOBSTERS
WHO THINK I'M A PRETTY NICE GUY.
- YEAH, SURE.
THIS'LL TAKE YOU BACK TO THE OCEAN.
- HEY, NO HARD FEELINGS.
I MEAN, IF YOU WAS A CATFISH,
MAYBE THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT.
- THANKS FOR HELPING ME OUT.
- THE PLEASURE WAS ALL MINE.
- EH, I GUESS I'M JUST NOT GONNA FIND A PET
WHO'S LOYAL, LOVING, AND OBEDIENT.
- HEATHCLIFF, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
I MISSED YOU SO MUCH.
- YEAH, HEATHCLIFF, WHERE YOU BEEN?
WE WERE GETTING WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
- IS MY LITTLE ANGEL HEATHCLIFF HOME?
I'VE GOT YOUR FAVORITE DISH, HEATHCLIFF--
FISH STEW.
- YUCK!
- YOU DON'T WANT FISH STEW?
WELL, HOW ABOUT CHICKEN AND LIVER?
- MEEOWWRRR!
- CHICKEN AND LIVER COMING UP!
- THAT CAT SURE IS FINICKY.
- NOW, GRANDPA, DON'T YOU GO PICKING ON
OUR LITTLE HEATHCLIFF.
- YEAH, GRANDPA.
- THAT'S RIGHT, GRANDPA!
- HMPH!
- YOU WAIT HERE, HEATHIE.
I'LL BRING YOU YOUR DINNER.
- LOYAL, LOVING, AND OBEDIENT.
PEOPLE ARE A CAT'S BEST FRIEND.
[HECTOR SNAPPING FINGERS]
- HEY, LOOK AT THIS.
MY FAVORITE PICTURE IS PLAYING DOWN AT THE BIJOU--
"CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF."
LOOK AT THAT!
THE TIGERS WON ANOTHER GAME.
OH, NO! THIS IS TERRIBLE!
- WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL, RIFF RAFF?
THE NEWSPAPERS ARE ALWAYS FULL OF BAD NEWS.
- YEAH, BUT THIS IS BAD NEWS FOR CATS.
- CATS?
[SPLASH]
OH, NO. THAT'S TERRIBLE.
HOW AWFUL-- BAD NEWS FOR CATS.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? WHERE WE GONNA HIDE?
- LOOK, HERE'S THE DOPE, YOU DOPE.
IT SEEMS THAT THERE IS A CAT DISEASE AROUND HERE,
BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
IT STRIKES ONLY ONE CAT IN A MILLION.
PRETTY GOOD ODDS, IF YOU ASK ME.
- OH, YEAH? WELL, I'M SCARED.
WHAT HAPPENS TO A CAT WITH THIS DISEASE, ANYWAY?
- WELL, IT SAYS HERE
THAT A CAT WITH CATATOSIS WILL HAVE...
"A TWITCH IN HIS RIGHT ARM...
HIS LIP QUIVERS..."
WHAT'S THIS? "WHISKERS SPIN WILDLY."
"A CAT WITH THIS DISEASE
ALSO WILL FLIP AND FLOP IN HIS SLEEP."
- DUH, HEY, GUYS, LOOK AT WORDSWORTH.
HE'S DOING ALL THE THINGS RIFF RAFF SAID
THE CAT WITH THAT DISEASE DOES.
- "...WILL BARK LIKE A DOG."
- ARF! ARF!
- "...WILL FLAP HIS ARMS LIKE A BIRD."
"...WILL CRY LIKE A BABY."
- WAAH! WAAH!
- OH, NO! WORDSWORTH HAS CATATOSIS.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
- WELL, LET'S SEE WHAT ELSE THIS SAYS.
"THE CAT WILL SLEEPWALK."
YES, SIR. THIS SOUNDS PRETTY BAD, RIGHT, FELLAS?
- NOW, THAT'S THE CRAZIEST THING I EVER HEARD, YOU BIG NERD.
I FEEL PERFECTLY FINE.
BBBLRBBBLRBBBLRBBBLR!
- WE GOT TO TAKE HIM TO SEE DOC.
- WHAT KIND OF DOCTOR
DID YOU SAY THIS GUY WAS, RIFF RAFF?
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, WISE GUY.
YEAH. IT LOOKS LIKE OLD DOC
IS DOING ALL RIGHT FOR HIMSELF.
- YES? WHAT IS IT? WHAT DO YOU WANT?
A POTION OF SOME SORT?
COME ON. GET ON WITH IT.
- DOC, IT'S ME, RIFF RAFF, YOUR OLD PAL.
- RIFF RAFF!
WELL, AT LEAST THAT GROWING POTION MUST'VE WORKED.
- DOC, HE'S NOT ME. I'M ME.
RIFF RAFF, THE ONE AND ONLY.
- OH, YEAH? WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
YOU SEE, MY PAL HERE, WORDSWORTH,
HAS CATATOSIS, AND HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IT.
- AH, YES. THAT'S ONE OF THE SYMPTOMS...I THINK.
- WELL, CAN YOU FIX HIM UP?
- WHY, OF COURSE I CAN FIX CATATOSIS.
LET ME JUST LOOK IT UP.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
- DON'T WORRY.
THE DOC WILL HAVE YOU FIXED UP IN A FEW MINUTES.
- HEY, MAN, WHAT'S THE PLAN?
I'M NOT SICK. WHAT'S THE TRICK?
- ♪ TA-DA!
♪ BA BA BA BA BOOM
♪ HEY HEY HEY
LET'S SEE HERE, NOW.
CAT-A-TOSIS.
- HE'S THE SICK CAT.
- I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD. I FEEL REAL GOOD.
- I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND "CATATOSIS" ANYWHERE.
THAT'S OK.
STICK YOUR TONGUE OUT.
YES, OK. LIFT YOUR RIGHT LEG.
VERY GOOD. NOW LIFT YOUR LEFT ARM.
THAT'S FINE.
NOW HOP UP AND DOWN LIKE THIS.
- HEY, THIS KID'S FLIPPED HIS LID.
- OK, YOU CAN STOP NOW.
THIS GUY IS 100% FINE.
A LITTLE STUPID, MAYBE,
BUT NEVERTHELESS, HE'S OK.
- BUT HE DID ALL OF THE STUFF.
- LISTEN, DO I LOOK LIKE I'M CRAZY?
- THAT ONE'S UP FOR DEBATE.
- IF YOU WANT TO BE CERTAIN, I WILL GIVE YOU A CURE.
GET YOUR FRIEND A HAIR FROM AN ALLIGATOR.
THAT WILL DO THE TRICK.
- NOW YOU'RE TALKING, DOC.
THANKS.
[BIRDS CALLING]
- LET'S FIND ONE OF THESE GATORS
SO I CAN CATCH YOU GUYS LATER.
- UH...WHAT IS AN ALLEY..GATOR, ANYWAY?
- I'VE NEVER SEEN ONE,
BUT DON'T WORRY, WE'LL FIND ONE.
- [SNORING]
- SHH! LET'S NOT WAKE UP THOSE BIG LIZARDS.
- LUNCHTIME.
- LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
[ENGINE SPUTTERS]
[ENGINE FAILS TO TURN OVER]
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
- ROW, YOU GUYS, IF YOU THINK YOU'RE WISE.
[IGNITION GRINDING]
- BOY, THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE.
LET'S SEE.
ALLIGATORS...ALLIGATORS.
OH, LOOK, HERE'S A PICTURE.
YIKES!
- ALLIGATORS?! - ALLIGATORS?!
- YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT THOSE GUYS WERE ALLIGATORS?
WELL, THEY'RE NOT SO TOUGH.
ALL THEY ARE IS A COUPLE OF OVERSTUFFED LIZARDS.
- LOOK, GUYS, I FEEL OK.
LET'S SPLIT. WHAT DO YOU SAY?
- WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE
UNTIL WE GET WHAT WE CAME HER FOR--
THE HAIR OFF ONE OF THOSE GUY'S HEADS.
[ALL BUT RIFF RAFF'S TEETH CHATTERING]
NOW, DON'T WORRY, GUYS.
JUST LEAVE IT UP TO OLD RIFFIE.
I'VE GOT THEIR NUMBER.
[ALL BUT HEATHCLIFF WHIMPERING]
[CATS SCREAMING]
[LIMB CREAKING]
- UH-OH.
- [GRRR]
- [WEAKLY] MEOW.
- SAY WHAT YOU MAY,
THIS IS THE END OF MY DAY.
- NOW, HOLD YOUR HORSES, BOYS.
WE'VE COME ALL THIS WAY TO GET THE CURE
FOR OUR PAL WORDSWORTH HERE. NOW LET'S GET IT.
- WORDSWORTH SAYS HE'S OK.
- THAT'S ONE OF THE PROBLEMS WITH CATATOSIS.
IT MAKES CATS LIE.
NOW, COME ON. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS, CHICKEN?
WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?
YEE!
I THINK WE LOST 'EM.
[MUNGO PANTING]
- LET'S GET OUT OF HERE, RIFF RAFF. PLEASE!
[WORDSWORTH PANTING]
- YEAH. LET'S SAY LATER TO THE GATOR.
- OH. I'M GETTIN' WORN OUT
BY ALL THIS RUNNING AROUND.
- OK. HAVE IT YOUR WAY.
I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP OUT A PAL.
IF YOU GUYS FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT IT,
THEN LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
LET'S SEE HERE.
WHERE DID THAT BOAT GO?
TROUBLE.
WHOAAA!
WHAT? NO HAIR.
OH, NO!
- WHAT IS IT?!
- "WHAT IS IT"!
- DOC, YOU TOLD US TO GET A HAIR OFF AN ALLIGATOR.
REMEMBER?
- YES! I REMEMBER.
- WELL, I WOULD LIKE TO BRING TO YOUR ATTENTION
THAT, NUMBER ONE:
ALLIGATORS AIN'T THE FRIENDLIEST OF ANIMALS.
- YEAH. AND THEY DON'T HAVE ANY HAIR, EITHER.
- DON'T HAVE ANY HAIR, DO THEY?
WELL, THANKS FOR TELLING ME.
I MUST WRITE THAT DOWN.
WELL, YOUR FRIEND LOOKS TO ME JUST FINE NOW, ANYWAY.
- THIS HERE'S THE SICK ONE, DOC.
- WELL, HE LOOKS JUST FINE, TOO.
MUST HAVE BEEN THE EXERCISE.
- EXERCISE?! - EXERCISE?! - EXERCISE?!
- NEXT!
- PUTTING THE CAT OUT AT NIGHT ISN'T ALWAYS A GREAT IDEA.
YIPES! IN FACT, SOMETIMES IT'S A ROTTEN IDEA.
AH, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
LET ME IN!
- MUST HAVE BEEN THE WIND.
[HEATHCLIFF PANTING]
HEATHCLIFF! OK, OK. YOU MADE YOUR POINT.
- REMEMBER, YOUR CAT'S ONLY HUMAN.
- ♪ HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF, NO ONE SHOULD ♪
♪ TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
♪ BUT HEATHCLIFF JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
♪ PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE
♪ THE GAME WILL REIGN
♪ SUPREME
♪ AND NO ONE CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y
♪ THEY'LL MAKE SOME HISTORY
♪ AND ALWAYS HAVE AN ALIBI-I-I ♪
♪ SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
♪ THE CATS ARE GREAT, THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
♪ OH O-OH O-O-OH O-OH
♪ BUT HEATHCLIFF JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
♪ YOU SHOULD REALIZE
♪ HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU